Medication was just the first step, now I was referred to a psychologist, her name was Carol, nice enough until she wanted me to dig deep. I first talked about our little family of four, how I was hot headed and wanted to change. She wanted to know about the younger Em, the 5 year old who hid beneath the surface, Em who threw terrible tantrums at the drop of a hat. I didn't want to share that part of me she needed protection, Carol asked me to write out my life story. I paused not sure that was possible to put that in paper. I barrowtyperwritter and typed for three weeks straiight. single space.
The ugly truth of the past pured out, I was sick to my stomach daily, when I wasnt writting I lay in bed agonizing to type again.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
First Medication
As I walked out of the Dr,'s office I automatically opened the car door, put the key in stared it and drove off. Little did I know I was on a twenty year journey to find myself. The Doctor had given me a prescription of Prozac, the newest drug on the market for depression.
I arrived home a 20 minute drive without any recollection of the drive. In the house I took my my first dose of Prozac. Nothing after 30,60 minutes. The house was busy with 4 children a dog and soon my Husband of 6 years would be home.
We lived in one of the most beautiful states Oregon, Spring time. Not that I noticed at that time. I hardly notice anything. I had a baby in 91 my fourth, a 9lbs 6 oz boy. I had not been truly happy for years but I was very good at masking my feelings, until something triggered a outburst and then everyone ducked for cover. I would just say that is me take it or leave it... Depressed, angry, moody. Both the older children and my husband had lived and somewhat survived the up and downs.
After a week of taking Prozac I started feeling better, I notices the flowers all around the city. It was amazing, vivid colors I had never seen before or notices. I asked my husband Dean, had he notices how amazing the colors this spring were. He thought it was as beautiful as always but wasn't as impressed as I was. We had lived in Southern Oregon for four years and I had never seen the colors so vivid, bright just majestic.
It had been two weeks and I headed back to the Doctors for a Med check, as I drove I notices everything flowers, trees, animals I swear I thought I was on another planet. I took my husband tot he appointment with me this time. Husbands are great to help with gauging whether or not the medication is working, and my was happy to report that my medication was a wonder drug. I was out if bed, doing what i needed to do with the family I was crafting again.
I arrived home a 20 minute drive without any recollection of the drive. In the house I took my my first dose of Prozac. Nothing after 30,60 minutes. The house was busy with 4 children a dog and soon my Husband of 6 years would be home.
We lived in one of the most beautiful states Oregon, Spring time. Not that I noticed at that time. I hardly notice anything. I had a baby in 91 my fourth, a 9lbs 6 oz boy. I had not been truly happy for years but I was very good at masking my feelings, until something triggered a outburst and then everyone ducked for cover. I would just say that is me take it or leave it... Depressed, angry, moody. Both the older children and my husband had lived and somewhat survived the up and downs.
After a week of taking Prozac I started feeling better, I notices the flowers all around the city. It was amazing, vivid colors I had never seen before or notices. I asked my husband Dean, had he notices how amazing the colors this spring were. He thought it was as beautiful as always but wasn't as impressed as I was. We had lived in Southern Oregon for four years and I had never seen the colors so vivid, bright just majestic.
It had been two weeks and I headed back to the Doctors for a Med check, as I drove I notices everything flowers, trees, animals I swear I thought I was on another planet. I took my husband tot he appointment with me this time. Husbands are great to help with gauging whether or not the medication is working, and my was happy to report that my medication was a wonder drug. I was out if bed, doing what i needed to do with the family I was crafting again.
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